Submitted by Tron Mason
There he was. This little guy standing in the middle of the driveway dressed as a warrior. His helmet decorated with the illusion of fire, his armor shining steel blue in color and tightened around his elbows and arms. He was ready! Oh wait... "Tighten up your chin strap." Ok now he was ready! With this however, it seemed his enemy was just as prepared if not more so.
His enemy sat in its own corner displaying its menacing frame and snaring back at him as the young warrior trembled with fear. The armor on his knees knocked almost rhythmically. The beat sounded eerily like Queen's 1980 hit "Another one bites the dust." "Dad, he called out shaken, Do we have to take the training wheels off today? I don't have to learn today, I'm ok - really." It was clear the boy was nerve stricken. Apparently he'd gotten wind of the epic battles his older siblings had with the great two wheeled beast. They had triumphed but not without a battle mark or band aid. These stories, now clearly exaggerated were messing with his psyche...and his stomach. Thinking fast I gave the warrior a pep talk of sorts as he stood on the hot concrete terrain. With his eyes darting constantly and his legs week, what he needed was a dose of courage I thought. "My stomach hurts Daddy" "Keep your wits about you son and take this elixir! It's sure to give you all the energy you need to defeat the beast. It's basically liquid courage - drink up!" I passed him the Chuck E Cheese goblet and he drank boldly from it. When he'd finished he looked different. His knees quieted and he emphatically proclaimed "That's Pepto Bismol Daddy!" I simply proclaimed with a stiff pat on his back, that today...it's the stuff dreams are made out of!
As we made our way down to the asphalt lined battlefield, the suburban warrior continually posed questions to his giggling siblings of how long it would take. My daughter shouted out "Five minutes!" In actuality it had taken her three days, a box of band aids, and two pair of gloves. I remember it like it was yesterday. The child pedaled right into the woods and hit a tree! She sat out the next day. Look, don't judge me - I take full blame! "Lesson one son - "Braking."
I must say people, that was no doubt the hottest day of the year and pushing dead weight in limp armor with a bike up and down the street was exhausting. "Can we take a break?, he said" "Keep pedaling," I replied. "Can you pour water over my head?" "Keep pedaling!" "Will you..." "Keep pedaling!!!" Now about our tenth time up and down the street my own knees were knocking and he could keep his balance when I let go for a second or two. The smile across his face was priceless. The kids snapped pictures and he was on his way. Then he hit "bit the dust!" It seems a quick jerk of the wheel provided him with a taste of the unforgiving terrain. His left knee pad had absorbed much of the enemy blow. I took my time getting there as the beast lay on top of his tangled body and he yelled out. I reached the boy and loosened him from the enemy's "Full Nelson" and "Figure Four" grip. He then looks up at me as if to say...I know - Keep pedaling! Now there you have it friends...That's the stuff dreams are really made of!
To read more please be sure to follow my blog @ http://chroniclesofasinglefather.blogspot.com in anticipation for my soon to be published book chronicling my life as a single father. Thanks for taking this journey with me and "Keep Pedaling!"
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
I know what you’re thinking: “Can’t we just give them some cake, invite a couple of friends and drink a few beers?” The answer is “NO!” Although your 1 year old’s expectations may not be very high for this day, this is your chance to practice for future birthdays (and enjoy a few beers with friends). There are many things to consider for your baby’s first birthday. Some things about this project will fall squarely on your shoulders while others will be out of your control. In order to keep things simple I’ve managed to boil things down a little.
What To Do With Those Guests?
Guests and Gifting
Lots of people will be invited. People with children, people who you haven’t seen in a while, and people who you’ve seen every day since the birth of the baby. Having a gift registry and giving door prizes is the generally accepted tradition for celebrations of this magnitude. The kids at the party will want something to play with as well.
There may be a couple of scenarios which require different rules to be followed in terms of gifts. Try these on for size, if they fit feel free to use them:
Scenario 1: Your friends and family have been notably absent since the birth of the baby, stood you up at the baby shower, but they still want to come to the birthday party. In this case you’ll want to register for presents. If they still show up at the door with not so much as an IOU, make them go to the store (yes I’m serious). No reason you can’t have a toddler shower during a first birthday party.
Scenario 2: Your friends and family took care of you during the baby shower and have been actively involved with the new addition to the family. For this scenario you may decide that they have done enough. So set a price limit for gifts and treat them to a good party. Friendship goes both ways after all.
Activities
The children at the party will want things to do. The teenagers might be fine just having someplace to poke away at their cell phones while the school age children will need more structured activities. You can find many party activity ideas here and here. You’ll have to deal with it anyway, you might as well have a say in picking the games.
Who Are The Gifts For Anyway?
Lets get something straight. These gifts are supposed to be for the parents! Some of your friends and family won’t understand that you need diapers more than you need the latest battery powered plastic contraption that makes 100 unbelievably crappy sounds to entertain your toddler and drive you up the friggin’ wall. Ask for diapers, gift certificates, or even baby sitters so you can get out of the house with your wife for a weekend.
If you’re worried that your baby won’t get anything… don’t be. People will still bring things for the little one, they can’t help themselves.
There Will Be Themes (No Matter What You Do)
Say the word “Decorating” and just watch guys scurry and hide like cockroaches on a linoleum floor. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do here. This aspect of baby parties is completely and utterly out of your control. Just help when you’re asked and don’t complain. After the party you can take your decorating frustrations out on the little cartoon characters all over your walls and furniture – relish it.
Be A Man And Suck It Up!
Some people don’t like birthday parties and others do and there is nothing wrong with that. If you don’t like it just think about the time you worked as a (insert crappy job here) when you were a teenager. Just like then you can make it through this without completely losing your mind. As your kids get older they will love their parties. They will tell their friends at daycare or school about them and list all the presents they got in amazing detail.
The first birthday is your chance to get used to the idea of throwing a party for ages which you haven’t been in a long time. Whether you understand it or not, making it a good day for your kid should be reason enough to suck up whatever prejudices you have and at least try to have a good time.
Photo © belongs to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
Since starting my Marathon training this year I have made an effort to eat healthier. After tearing apart all the foods that we had been eating I was shocked to learn how unhealthy our diets actually were.
It was time for a change. I wanted to cook healthier, but I didn’t want to buy a slew of recipe books to do it. Like most things in my life, this problem drove me online. I didn’t have to search long before I found a handful of sites that fit exactly what I was looking for, and some that were a little disappointing.
The site I ultimately chose to spend the bulk of my time on had to have:
- Free access!
- A robust recipe search.
- A shopping list feature which would make going to the store easier.
- Nutritional facts.
- Community feedback.
RunnersWorld.com
This site provided the most detailed searches of all the ones tested. The categorical search was by far the most useful as you could filter on "Heart Healthy" and "Diabetes Prevention" to get a list of recipes that accomplish both goals. You can save searches and recipes you like if you have an account. So far the recipe’s that we really like include Paco’s Favorite and Chicken, Corn and Tomatillo Chili.
MyRecipes.com
The recipe search on this site was one of the best searches I came across. The only problem was the relatively low number of recipes that met more than one health criteria (ex: "Heart Health" and "Diabetic" yielded 0 results). With an account you can save recipes, menus and shopping lists. It met all of my criteria, but didn’t have many (if any) recipes for the health categories.
FoodNetwork.com
This site really surprised me as an ardent Alton Brown and Iron Chef viewer. The searching is awkward as it tends to include non-healthy recipes from other parts of the site. Using topics gets you farther along the healthy recipe track, though you cannot filter on two topics at once (i.e. Low Carb, Low Cholesterol). Like the other sites you can save recipes if you have an account. The upside to this site is that the recipes are sometimes created by the chefs you see on TV.
FoodFit.com
The login page did not include a place to register (go figure) so I cannot talk about any benefits of registering. On this site I recommend using the "Advanced Search" as it is similar to the Runners World categorical search. This site has some potential, but it needs serious thought and development to make it better (I’m available for a fee :).
Website | Rating | Registration | Creates Shopping List | Nutritional Facts | Community Feedback |
| 5 | Yes (Free - Only required to save recipes, menus or shopping lists) | Yes (Per Recipe or Menu) | Yes | Ratings / Comments | |
| MyRecipes.com is a site which combines recipes from multiple lifestyle magazines. | 4 | Yes (Free - Only required to save recipes, menus or shopping lists) | Yes (With Account) | Yes | Ratings / Comments |
| 3 | Yes (Free - Only required to save recipes, menus or shopping lists) | No | Yes | Ratings / Comments | |
| 3 | Yes (Although I could not find where to register) | Yes (Per Recipe) | Yes | Ratings / Comments |
I have incorporated healthier eating into my diet to the tune of cooking 2-3 meals a week from these sites. After about 3 weeks I’ve already lost some weight which my knees appreciate as I continue to build my weekly mileage.
What have you done to try and eat healthier?
Photo © belongs to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/calliope/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
We all had role models as a child, for better or worse (Think Superman vs.. Hugh Hefner). It doesn’t matter what celebrities or superheroes your children look up to, because they also look up to you. You are a role model for your child whether you want to be or not. How you act, react, and speak are all being analyzed by open little eyes. The good news is that being a role model is easy. Just do what you want your child to do.
Your Children Will Copy You
When you got up this morning and didn’t brush your teeth your kid noticed. When you were short with your wife because she had asked you for the 50th time to take out the trash your kid noticed. When you thanked the grocery store employee at the register your kid noticed that too.
Although the way your child listens to you will change throughout their developmental stages, the fact that they do look and listen to what you do does not. They will learn and they will copy you. Eventually kids will put all of these things that you’ve done and said together into their opinion of you. They may even pick up some of your more undesirable traits as personal habits.
What Is Your Child Learning From You Now?
Listening
Curse words are a drop in the bucket of what children learn from you. They will notice things that you’re not even aware of! Everything from how you speak differently depending on whether you’re addressing a man or a woman to how you speak when addressing people of different ethnic backgrounds. They will notice how much respect is in your tone with everyone you interact with. So the next time you say “s***” or “f***” don’t worry so much that you said it as who you said it to or about.
Watching
On top of that they will notice your body language. Are you apprehensive, impatient or even aggressive when you speak with someone of a different race? Try being more mindful of how you speak or act when you are speaking to someone, you might be surprised. Yes it is important to be polite, but are you faking your politeness? Are you being passive aggressive? Your child may not know these terms, but they know when someone is being insincere.
Being A Role Model is Easy!
Just act like you want your kid to act and say the things you want your kid to say. Especially when they are younger they will pick up these cues from you. Of course having a workable and non-violent discipline process is also important. Acting like you want your kids to act isn’t just a one-time thing either. You can’t stage a respectful conversation with someone of a different race and force your kid to watch. You have to make the behavior you want your child to adopt your own behavior, constantly.
Of course you will have to constantly monitor yourself, but analyzing and changing things within yourself is a thousand times easier than forcing the changes in someone else.
The Formula
(Yes I’m a Geek)
X Shown = X Taught
Where X = Respect: Respect Shown = Respect Taught
Where X = Hate: Hate Shown = Hate Taught
What do you teach your child?
Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
It has been nearly a year since we have had out twins. This approaching milestone has caused me to reflect on what our family has been through and what it has become as a result. It has taken me a long time to write this story without my hands shaking.
The Bad - Cancer
When our family was very small, just my Fiancé and I, something bad happened to our hopes and dreams: Cancer. It was the kind of Cancer that was treatable, but would result in major difficulties in having children. This was a big blow and to be honest, that time is a bit of a blur. My wife was on two kinds of medications, the heavy kind and the unbelievably heavy kind. There were mood swings and puking and crying. Some nights she would pass out on the couch. On those nights I slept on the carpet next to her in case she had a bad night… there were a lot of bad nights.
While trying to fight back this cancer, we were struggling on the fertility front as well. We were told there was a small chance that we could get pregnant the old fashioned way while she was fighting cancer. It was an extremely long shot, but we felt like we had nothing to lose. As you can guess, that didn’t work out and at the end of that first attempt we felt like we lost something. Then the Cancer, which had just barely been present, took over my wife’s uterus.
It was two years of recovery (from the hysterectomy and the drug induced diabetes my wife suffered from) before we were ready to try fertility again. My wife’s ovaries were still intact and we had found a surrogate after a long, discouraging search. The fight started anew and we once again were hopeful.
The first attempt with our new system was unsuccessful, and it nearly destroyed us. It would be another year and two additional attempts for us to finally get pregnant.
The Good – Pregnancy and Support
After all of the suffering we had been through we were thrilled to be pregnant. We were also very careful with our expectations. We kept tabs on our surrogate and went to all of the ultrasounds which were longer than 5 minutes (it was a 3 hour drive to get there). We watched as our babies grew one black and white slide to another.
Family to us means everyone who supported us during our tough years. This includes friends, doctors, and blood family. They were there to carry a little bit of us through to the other side of the hell we were in, and they did. They reminded us of why we were doing what we were doing when it seemed like there wasn’t anything left worth fighting for. They all felt like this pregnancy was as much theirs as it was ours and we were happy to share it. These people threw us three baby showers (see below) and made us feel their love. It felt like a warm blanket on our cold, torn, and beaten souls.
The Best – Becoming A Family
Our twin girls will be turning one year old in less than a month. I cannot describe is how it feels to be a husband and a parent in a way that would make sense to anyone, so I will just say this:
When Zoe and Sidney were born, my wife and I were reborn with them. We can hope and dream without fear. We can laugh in a way that we were not able to do for a long time. But most importantly, we can love each other as a family; not to overcome suffering, but to celebrate being together.
This piece is dedicated to my Wife - Honey, you are my hero, my soul mate, my everything. Happy Valentine’s Day and Happy Birthday!
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
Todd Barrett Lieman didn’t know anything about pregnancy. Like in most cases, this wasn’t a problem until his wife was expecting. He was smart enough to realize how much he knew and started looking for a resource which would put things in terms he could understand. Unless you’re already in the medical profession you won’t know what an Episiotomy is, but as a Dad you need to find out. That’s why Todd wrote a book for Dads which goes through all of the hard stuff (or just hard to pronounce stuff) from A to Z.
This Book Is Hilarious!
I was expecting a lot of dumbed-down explanations. What I didn’t expect was that this book takes great care to educate and be extremely funny at the same time. For instance, when discussing Meconium Poop:
“Meconium Poop is sterile and odorless, but its the stickiest, blackest, most tarlike substance you will ever see coming from your baby’s newborn butt. It even bubbles on exit. Yeah, its pretty gross.”
There are comics sprinkled throughout the book which are really something to look forward to (I say this as a comic strip connoisseur!) So if you decide to read the book from beginning to end (not recommended) you’ll have a mental break every few pages. If only the Dictionary was so kind.
It Avoids Manliness Where Necessary
Not all things can be talked about with a macho, sarcastic tone of voice. Some moments during pregnancy and early parenthood are just too special. Here is his definition for Cooing:
“It is the greatest sound you’ll ever hear and a reward for enduring all the sleepless nights, early morning feedings and blow-out clean ups. Your baby will just look up at you and make the most gentle, cute little sound you’ve ever heard. And, it’ll melt your heart.”
He’s not wrong about that.
It Is A Go-To Guide For Layman (Dads)
Yes, this book is funny and informative, but what is most important is that this book is instantly useful. It is even small enough to take with you to your wife’s OB visits. When the doctor explains something that sounds like “Bla bla bla, Latin word, bla bla bla” you can look up the Latin word while still in the office and know whether you should be worried or not.
This book is useful if you’re looking for a resource which gives you a bottom-line perspective on common pregnancy and parenthood issues. The only time I wouldn’t use it is in cases where something serious happens and you truly need to be educated on the subject, but hopefully those cases will be rare.
Disclosure: The Book was provided to me free of charge by the Author.
Giveaway – 5 Copies of “ABCs For Expectant Dads”
Per my Disclosure Policy every review will be followed by a giveaway. So here are the rules:
- The deadline for entering is 11:59pm, Monday, February 15th.
- To Enter:
- Subscribe to get GladDads.com in your inbox (Current subscribers are automatically entered) OR
- Mention this giveaway on your blog and email me the link (gladdads(at)gmail(dot)com).
-
- Limit: 1 entry per person.
Good Luck!
UPDATE: Announcing the Winners!
Cynthia Quenneville of http://firsttimemom2be.blogspot.com
Adam Cohen of http://www.dadarocks.com/
Chris Singer of http://www.sahdinlansing.com/
Jess Kollmann
Joe Beckman of http://www.papagio.net/
Thank you for participating!
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
Recently California's Manifee Union School District banned the Dictionary because the phrase "Oral Sex". It deemed that the phrase was not age appropriate and had to review the appropriateness of the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (MWCD) in its classroom. It wasn't even a student who found the term, it was a parent. The school district has since read the Dictionary and approved it for use by its 4th and 5th grade classes unless a parent objects. In those cases there is a dumbed down version of the Dictionary that the student can use. To be fair, there were objections from other parents to the ban, but fear held sway.
Dictionaries Have Words We Use
What that means to the rest of us is that whatever were talking about gets into the dictionary. If were talking about "Oral Sex" then they have to define it. Its their job. The words Genocide, Decapitate and Disembowel are probably in both the Collegiate and the dumbed down Dictionaries, but in the Manifee Union School District parents for some reason are much more afraid of sexual references than violence.
Dirty Word + 10 Year Old = Giggling!
I know enough about 10 year olds to know that the worst that would happen is giggling. The definition used in the MWCD was "Oral Stimulation of the genitals". Not only is this a very hard phrase to giggle at, the students would have likely had to look up 2 or 3 more words to really understand the meaning of the phrase. It would have been the most motivated learning they did all year. Because nothing's funnier than a dirty word, especially one that the parents show fear towards.
Only Boneheads Ban Books
Yes there are books out there that you probably wouldn't want your 10 year old to read. Fine, I'll concede that point. But at home and in the classroom having these books around if anything is more appropriate because there are adults to provide context. I don't think that I've ever cracked a dictionary anywhere else but at home and at school. Are you telling me that a teacher doesn't notice if a student picks up a Dictionary? When I was going to school you only cracked that book when you had an assignment! Not for fun.
So these kids have learned that you can ban an entire body of work over one phrase. They have also learned that anything with dirty words is unfit for reading. The parents who are sticking to their guns on this issue will have students who read very thin dictionaries if only "age appropriate" words are left in. I don’t know about anyone else, but when I was 10 I could make any word sound dirty.
But enough about what I think, do you think this ban was appropriate?
Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lochaven/
Submitted by Joe Beckman at Papagio.net
Parenting is difficult. No if's, ands, or buts about it. I'm all about having kids...seriously instead of reading this, you should be trying to make babies. However, with that said, it should NOT be something that is done because you just "think" you are ready. You want your marriage to survive? You want to be the best dad you can be? Than you better not just "think" you are ready... you better "KNOW." Here are 5 things to think about before making this decision. Read them and make sure you are able to check ALL of them off.
1. Take Care Of The Problems You And Your Significant Other Are Dealing With First (At Least The Big Ones)
Truth is, if you think you are going to be stable, strong, and respectful parents if you're not even stable, strong or respectful to your spouse/partner, you are WRONG! Having a kid does not make things go away. Sure it may sweep it under the rug for a bit, but you need to sweep it back out and clean it up before you bring another human life into this world.
2. Experience Life And Everything That It Has To Offer
This doesn't mean go jump out of an airplane, or climb Mt. Everest, or wrestle an alligator, (unless any of that excites you) but rather do one or two things (or more) that you have always wanted to do. If you are a huge baseball nut, go visit Wrigley Field, if you are a Trekky, go to a Star Trek Convention, if you have always wanted to see the The Coliseum up close and personal, book the first flight to Rome. Go do it now! You'll be a better dad because of it.
3. Talk Finances
This is big. Maybe the most important considering how financially draining it is to have children. Now, I'm not advocating to wait with kids until you have made your first million...there are plenty of families who are check to check and still very content. But if you don't plan on how you are going to pay $10,000/year on daycare (oh yes, it's possible) you're going to be in a sticky wicket. You'll pull from other areas to pay, and then you'll accumulate debt, and then that really job that your were once okay with starts to become that stupid company that doesn't pay you enough, you get bitter and bitter and more bitter. Create a plan. And then create a Plan B. (need a financial advisor? I have a great lady that I trust more then anyone with my money. Contact me, and I'll hook you up)
4. Communicate Parenting Styles
This could be a 2 page story on it's own. Look, 100% of parents want to do the best for their kids, and about 99% of spouses will have different ideas on how to make that happen. Sit down and talk each other. Read books. Ask friends/co-workers/neighbors or any other couples that you trust and respect how the approach they are taking. From there, talk to your spouse about what you really feel strongly about, and be prepared to have a reasonable explanation why. You can't just say, "I think spanking is the right choice for disciplining because that's how my parents did it, and it worked on me." Think through your reasons, and don't be SO stuck on one issue that you are not willing to budge. It's all about compromise here, and the more you are willing to budge on certain things, the more likely your spouse will too.
5. Make A Pact, A Mission, A Mantra Etc… That You Are Going To Remember To Always Be Good To Your Significant Other
So the truth behind all of this is that no matter how hard you plan and how ready you are, it's going to a challenge. You ever see the Amazing Race? Sometime even the most likeable couples get ugly every once in while. The stress is just too much. However, the more you can stick true to a common mission of being good and respectful to your partner, the faster you are going to pull through. Write it down, paint it on a wall, tattoo it on your forearm in Chinese letters. Do what it takes to remind yourself to be good to your teammate during this time.
Joe Beckman is the founder of Papagio.net. He believes in honoring Dads and the unique attributes they provide when invested and involved. You can find him on TV, Facebook, and Twitter.
Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/batega/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
Homer Simpson is a bad neighbor.
He endangers himself and those around him, his abject laziness brings down the property values of everyone on Evergreen Terrace, and he has on permanent loan almost every piece of home improvement equipment that Ned Flanders owns.
Could it be that Ned Flanders' willingness to give is a remnant of a bygone era and that Homer Simpson is the new wave?
The next time you have the opportunity to share consider the following.
What Sharing Was
Wikipedia say: Sharing is the joint use of a resource or space. Seems simple enough, but whenever you start getting people involved things can get much more complicated. People bring motivation, bias, and emotion to what should be a straightforward process. Ideally, people share for one of these reasons:
- To feel closer to the other individual.
- Because they trust the other individual.
- Because the other individual needed the resource more.
- To be altruistic and contribute to the common good, man.
What Non-Sharing Is
I only blame Homer Simpson in part for this. In my own experience I often feel like the reasons for sharing have become more economical than altruistic. It seems like everyone who is asked to share a resource asks themselves (and sometimes the person making the request) "What's in it for me?" I have been guilty of this and I find it disturbing. From this cynics point of view, this is why people don't share these days:
- Pride: They are so proud of their possession that they do not want to part with it, even if its just sitting in the shed.
- Distrust: In today's crime drama saturated world, everyone is a suspect.
- Sense of Entitlement: "No one ever shared their widget with me, why should I share mine?"
- No quid pro quo: Why are we being Dr. Lecters?
- Laziness: If we loan something out, we might have to put out an effort to try and get it back.
The Biggest Fear
Like most undesirable traits, we have come to this habit via fear. Through the odd bad experience with sharing we have all become a combination of Homer Simpson, Hannibal Lecter, and Columbo. Furthermore, we are afraid that the person requesting our resource is exactly like us. Can I get a “D’oh?”
What have you shared lately?
Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/naturesdawn/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
We have had two break-ins at our house before we had our twins. Both times the criminals came in through our bedroom window while we were gone. Since we have had babies I take our home security much more seriously. A home is supposed to be a safe place. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m being a little paranoid, but keeping my family safe has become one of my top priorities.
Following are three strategies which I think can make a huge difference in the security of your family when they are home.
(Note: I have not provided specific product links as I believe it is important with home security to undertake your own research)
One: Get A Security System
Having a good security system means that you have to pay a monthly fee and some maintenance costs when issues arise. Having a security system which you are confident in is the most basic way to deter burglars. Here are a few things to keep in mind when purchasing a home security system.
- Make sure the company offers 24 hour monitoring
- Make sure the company has a good reputation
- Read the warranty
- Make sure the system has "Panic Codes" built in. For example: If you push 1 and 3 together the police come running, 3 and 9 the fire department, etc.
- The system should be able to accommodate a "Duress Code". You use this four-digit code if you are being forced to disable the alarm. The alarm will turn off, but the police will still come running.
Owning an alarm system will require you to adjust your behaviors slightly. With Home Invasions on the rise you should use your system when you are away as well as when you are home. You will want to be careful if you are cracking windows or answering the door (for someone you know) that you turn the alarm off first or you'll wake the entire neighborhood up.
Two: Secure Your Windows
This is where our house was vulnerable so I’ve put a lot of thought into this aspect of home security. These fixes will deter, confuse and maybe even frustrate potential burglars.
- Make sure your window construction is complicated (Blinds between the panes, laminations on the glass, multiple panes)
- Buy add-on locks to make unlocking the windows as complicated as a Chinese puzzle box.
- Use dowels in your window tracks to keep them from opening more than a few inches. Also, make sure your dowels are substantial and noticeable from the outside. At least an inch in diameter and paint them yellow if that helps.
- If you can't make your window installations more complicated (if you live in an apartment for instance) you can purchase battery operated window break monitors. They listen for the sound of glass breaking and make annoying noises like a smoke detector.
It is important to note that laminated glass can make it more difficult to break glass in order to get out of the house in an emergency. Make sure that your family knows how to get out of the house if the need arises.
Three: Secure Your Doors
Yes, some burglars will try to get right through the front door. That's how most home invasions are performed. They either break your door down or get you to open it somehow. Here's how to defend yourself against invaders.
- Install quality locks. The investment is worth it.
- Sliding patio doors should have locks on the top and bottom.
- Any glass on your doors should be laminated.
- Make sure you can see out of your door (peephole, decorative glass pane)
- Bonus Points: Intercom system… communicate with people outside your door without opening it!
If Someone Still Breaks In
This is where a little bit of practice could really come in handy. When you are woken out of your sleep to a loud noise your first instinct will be to turn the noise off. The problem with that is that this tells the monitoring center that the alarm was a mistake and they should not respond. Instead you should let the alarm continue to sound while you check your house or call police to the scene. If you can hear or see the burglar in your house you should push your “Panic Code” to call the police.
Regarding Gun Safety And Kids
The act of storing a gun safely precludes you from using it in a time of crisis. Essentially this limits your weapon to recreational endeavors. If you don’t have your gun stored safely your child will eventually figure out how to put all the pieces together. Believing your child is responsible enough to make intelligent decisions in regards to weapons carries a large risk. In terms of home safety I am a strong believer in baseball bats (or big fat yellow window dowels).
Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/powerbooktrance/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
It was the Sunday before last, 2:00am. One of our 10 month old twins had a bad cold. She went to bed around 10pm like usual, but woke up screaming four hours later. She refused a bottle (VERY unusual) and then started breathing funny: Inhale, exhale, then a long pause! I had no idea what that meant, but I did know that I was ready to quit screwing around and take this kid to the Emergency Room.
First Lesson: Nothing Cures A Kid Faster Than The Waiting Room
The entire way to the ER was excruciating. She was in the back seat and all I could see was that she was tired. I couldn't tell if she was still breathing funny or breathing at all for that matter. When we finally arrived at the hospital I took her out of the seat and went into the ER.
She cracked her eyes open when we went inside and saw a bunch of new people. "Yay" she thought and started smiling at the receptionist. The triage nurse (the one who decides where you are in line) saw us moments later. My little girl who was miserable, refusing food, and breathing funny at home started laughing and clapping!
Second Lesson: Laughing Kids Are Last In Line
I still wanted to make sure that everything was ok… I wasn't too tired to remember what had gone on at home. So we waited… and waited… and waited. Nearly three hours later we were finally called in. She had been happily sleeping away on my lap. I had to pee like a racehorse!
Third Lesson: Piece Of Mind Is Worth The Wait
Inside the actual Emergency Room things started moving a little faster. The first thing they determined after about three different people listened to her chest is that she was wheezing (Score one for Dad). They tested for a couple of different possibilities and finally decided that she has Bronchiolitis. Bronchiolitis is an infection of the Bronchioles (the smallest part of the lungs) and can get severe enough to interfere with a Baby's breathing.
The Doctors told me I should have brought her in to get checked out and several warning signs to look for over the next week that would prompt me to bring her in again.
Fourth Lesson: Just Go!
You're not going to get laughed at for bringing your kid in for the sniffles. Emergency Rooms know how to handle the deluge of patients so that the most pressing cases are first in line. There is no need to feel guilty. If nothing is wrong, then great! If something is wrong then you'll be glad you went. Just remember to pee before you go.
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
Every year we try to improve ourselves by pretending that the next year offers a second (third, fourth…) chance. In fact it is the here and now… every second… which offers itself to you to mold as you will. With this in mind, allow yourself to fail in 2010. Fail and try again. The commitment it takes to change habits or take on big projects or just to simply be a parent is gigantic and if we don’t allow ourselves to get it wrong every once in a while we will be doomed to a life without challenge or success. Here are some things I will take on in 2010… maybe more than once.
Resolutions
For the holidays on my brand new blog I decided to host a little contest even though I’m lacking in ‘physical’ prizes to give away (I’m a dad with twins who blogs – nuff said). But prizes isn’t really what the holidays is about anyway, is it? I just wanted to have a great holiday story about fatherhood to share with everyone.
My Facebook and Twitter friends did not disappoint with entries, even sending some links to previous postings on their blogs. Our winner this year is Joel Schwartzberg, the author of “The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad.” who bought a goat for his family – sort of.
Joel Schwartzberg - Getting Your Goat
Somewhere in Africa, there's a goat with an unsuspecting Kenyan family's name on it. I adopted the animal for them after coming across the idea in a holiday catalog from the non-profit group Heifer International. But the gift wasn't only for the Kenyan family; it was also for my own.
When I told my kids that one of their coveted Hanukkah presents would be rerouted to a needier family, they were confused at first, then entranced. Charlie was eager to plot Kenya on a globe, while my girls schemed ways of sending comfy goat beds overseas. It inspired more discussion than a typical holiday gift, even one that doubles as a cell phone, giggles when shook, and can safely bake small cakes. I just hope Heifer tapes a gift receipt to the goat's belly in case the family wants to trade up for a llama.
Offering gifts to less fortunate strangers feels right, but it's still pretty rare. Holiday compassion, which most of us value but seldom practice, is the opposite of holiday commercialism, which most of us practice but never value.
To be fair, you can find examples of holiday generosity when you look. Every winter, nonprofit organizations distribute donated coats to those who can't afford them, and toy collection efforts have been around since Silly Putty. But more often than not, those compassionate efforts only get substantial exposure when they're mired in controversy. The U.S. Marines' "Toys for Tots" program got its best publicity ever when it decided in 2006 to refuse a donation of thousands of gospel-spouting Jesus Christ dolls. They feared offending Jewish and Muslim families, or possibly confusing kids who might excitedly mistake Jesus for Obi-Wan Kenobi.
But faster than you can say "Merry Christmas and Welcome to Wal-Mart," the Marines did an about-face and accepted the dolls anyway. Note if you receive one: batteries are not included, and possibly some Assembly of God required.
Growing up Jewish, I've never really connected holiday compassion to Hanukkah, which is more about spirituality than selflessness. The festival of lights focuses on the story of Jews who, for lack of an all-night convenience store, ran perilously low on olive oil, but managed to make it last eight nights. I have the same miraculous experience with my toothpaste every six months or so, but I keep that to myself.
I didn’t really begin to consider religion seriously until late in life, despite some formal religious training in my youth. When I was 13, I had my Bar Mitzvah in Alief, Texas, a tiny suburb outside Houston. Our congregation’s temple was so miniscule that we’d rent out the local church for big events. We’d just hide the crosses and New Testaments and Oy Voila: a perfect Bar Mitzvah venue. The only problem were the invitations:
“Come celebrate Joel Schwartzberg’s Bar Mitzvah and his transition to Jewish manhood…at the First Church of Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior.”
When I left home for NYU, it wasn’t long before I began rationalizing forbidden practices like eating on Yom Kippur, making sandwiches on Passover, and ordering shrimp appetizers. I joined a large Jewish student organization, but like so many others in the group, I was more focused on dating than deities. In fact, I think it was those guys who introduced me to shrimp.
Naturally, I passed my lazy reverence onto my kids, whose exposure to their own religion has been limited to annual HanukkahBrachos and one overtly Jewish Power Ranger. (Season 13’s Bridge Carson, if you must know. He couldn’t have been Bridge Goldstein?)
During holiday time I unpack our Hanukah menorah and yarmulkes the way other families unpack tree ornaments. But the messages get a little muddled. My kids and I light candles each night, but they also exchange gifts on Christmas morning. We spin dreidels, but also stop and gawk at elaborate decorations on neighboring houses. We focus a little too much on presents, but also…focus a little too much on presents.
That’s why I like to come back to the compassion thing. Connecting the holiday to acts of selfless generosity, like gifting a goat, is a mitzvah that creates no messy religious inconsistencies, unless said goat is also a Scientologist.
Our new Kenyan friends don't need to be thinking of me and my kids when their gift arrives, though they can pay it forward. The great thing about this kind of program is that recipients traditionally "pass on" their animals' offspring to others in their community. Not only can't you do that with a Playstation 3, but it isn't even considered re-gifting!
My main hope is that, through our generosity, the Kenyan family realizes there are parts of the better-developed world where, come holiday time, caring families of all faiths will still go out and practice compassion alongside religion and frenzied holiday shopping.
And as long as those people are out, they should pick up some extra olive oil just in case.
Thank you to everyone who submitted their Holiday Stories! They were truly fun to read. You can look forward to the same contest next year… this time with a Prize! Maybe even a Goat!
Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/marcobellucci/
Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA
Congratulations on becoming the proud owner of your very own diaper bag. If you’re lucky whoever bought the bag for you bought it at DadGear.com or DiaperDude.com. If your new bag has flowers or over-primped ponies on it, carry it with pride! Dads will not judge you on your Diaper Bag, instead they will give you a knowing look saying “Carry on brother! We are Men and we don’t need a bag to tell us that".
Now that we got the Pep Talk out of the way, lets get down to the details.
The Packing List
Lets face it, most Men are minimalists and can pack everything they need for a weekend in a daypack. This behavior will not cut it in baby land though. You must pack for contingencies. If your baby poops on herself or gets scratched when you put her in the stroller, you need to be ready. With your Diaper Bag comes the responsibility to be as prepared as a Navy Seal storming an enemy ship. Here are the things you will need for your mission.
Diapering:
- Changing Pad - Something you can unfold one-handed.
- Diapers – Pack 1 per hour (at least).
- Wipes - Travel sized container.
- Diaper rash ointment – Diaper Rash always pops up at the most inopportune moment.
- Changes of clothes - Yes, this goes in the “Diapering” category.
- Ziploc Bags – Good for dirty diapers when you don’t have any place to dispose of them, also good for dirty clothes. These bags are so useful they should be the most plentiful item in your bag.
Feeding:
- Bottles – Pack 1 per hour.
- Formula or Breastmilk – Enough to fill each bottle.
- Burp Cloths or Bibs – 1 for every 2 hours.
- Bottled Water – Enough for you and for your baby (if feeding formula).
Other:
- Tissues – Always a very useful parenting item.
- First Aid Kit – As complete as you can get and still fit into your bag comfortably.
- Blankets – 1 or 2
- Pacifiers
- Toys
- Teething Rings
- Extra Set of Keys – You don’t want to be locked out of your house or the car with (or worse – without) the baby!
- Hand Sanitizer
Pack Smart
You will want to pack everything into your diaper bag by frequency of use. So diapering and feeding supplies should go on top. Things that are in the “Other” category you can bury a little deeper. Once you go out a few times you’ll know what the important stuff is.
Remember To Stock Up
You should be vigilant about stocking your diaper bag to make sure you don’t leave the house having forgotten something important. Running out of Ziploc bags or tissues can be especially annoying!
There it is, everything you need to know about Diaper Bag ownership. People will be in awe at your cat-like readiness. So hold your head high Dads… you’re representing all of us.
What do you find indispensible in your Diaper Bag?
