Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA

With all of the parenting advice out there, I’ll just bet that some of you are looking for a nuts and bolts K.I.S.S. approach.  Personally, I have gotten hours upon hours of advice from people (mostly solicited).  There are five main themes which popped up over and over again.  Each one of these has many sub-categories of course, but as issues come up, it should be fairly simple to put them into the context of one or more of these overlying themes.

Managing Your Expectations

As parents we expect a lot from our children.  We expect them to do good in school, to read by the time they’re two years old and to be kind and respectful at ALL times.  The nature of being a child isn’t that clear-cut though.  Children are learning about their life in just about every conceivable context.  Socially, kids are pushing limits with their parents as well as their peers from the time they are old enough to crawl.  Academically children have such creative minds that it can sometimes be difficult to complete a task from A to Z without incident (we all started out coloring outside the lines).  When moving around, kids tend to be more link bowling balls than humming birds, so things break and the kids break and things can just get way out of hand.

A lot of you are nodding along as you read this, but ask yourselves: How did you react the last time something did not go to plan?  When you do react strongly to something you have to ask yourself: Were my expectations too high?  I am by no means condoning a “Success through lowered expectations” approach, I am merely suggesting a set of expectations somewhere near reality.

Setting Rules

Now that we have been briefly introspective about our expectations of our children, we can talk about setting rules.  Rules are an interesting concept as they have the ability to shape social groups greatly.  Rules can create everything from an Orwellian society to (some still believe) a Utopian society.  What type of society do you want in your house?  You can enforce rules from the time your child is an infant.  When she pulls your hair, you can explain that hair pulling hurts you and if she does not stop, put her down and explain the rule again.

Being Consistent

It is important that both parental units (Dads and Moms) are consistent in applying the rules of the house.  If your children receive mixed signals about one limitation they are more likely to not follow other rules.  As parents we get tired, and as a parent of twins, you’ll find no-one more sympathetic than I.  That being said, the rules of the house must be enforced consistently no matter what your state of mind.  Otherwise your child will learn to only ask for things when you’re sleepy… no one wants that.

It is also important to be consistent with your praise.  Letting kids know when they are doing a good job often will raise their self-esteem and make them want to share every one of their accomplishments with you.

Getting Calm (Mad)

Reacting emotionally is one of the biggest mistakes that parents make.  I have been guilty of this too (Why is it that babies always wait until you’re 2 minutes away from finishing something to completely lose their minds?).  It is important to recognize when you are reacting emotionally and know how to reverse this process.  Mantra’s help me, but use any tools that you’re comfortable with.  The outcome of this exercise should be to never react in a way that scares your child or makes her feel bad about herself.

Being Involved

This concept is the easiest to understand and the hardest to implement.  These days every household is a two income household with both parents working.  It can be very difficult to feel like you are involved in your children’s lives.  The term “quality time” was invented for just this reason.  When you are home and with your children, make sure you are awake and engaged.  If this requires another cup of coffee on the way home then so be it.  Spending time with your children is rewarding to all of you, so if you completely ignore everything else I’ve written in this post, please heed this point.

Good Luck.

Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pagedooley/

Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA

This is the time of year when snow begins to fall in many places in the northern hemisphere.  Families will go sledding, skiing, snowboarding, or just playing in all the white stuff.  Even adults get flashbacks to childhood when we got into snowball fights and built snowmen.  As Dads, we are often called upon to be event photographers.  Snow has some unique qualities which makes photographing it easier in some respects, but harder in others.  The following insights and tips should greatly improve your chances of taking great winter photographs of your kids and just about anything else.

Snow Makes Everything More Interesting

You know that dead or dying bush right outside your house which (as if it was possible) looks even worse in the fall and winter than it did during the summer?  When Mother Nature sprinkles a little snow on top it becomes a hundred times more interesting to look at.  It may even become a photo-worthy subject all by itself.  Snow can have this effect on entire landscapes.  When your brown lawn gets covered in 5 inches of clean, downy snow you can’t help but smile just a little (while at the same time complaining about the cold, and the bad winter drivers, etc.).

Snow is the Color of the Sky

More or less anyway.  Since snow is white it tends to take on the color of the nearest light source.  The only exception to this rule is if the sky is blue.  It may just be because I’m colorblind, but snow has never looked blue to me.  If you get out early on sunny days you can see the snow turn the same color as the sunrise.  It is also easier to take pictures at darker times of the day because so much of the available light is being reflected back onto the surroundings instead of being absorbed by the ground.

Falling Snow in a Picture Adds Interest

Think “sprinkles” for photographs.  You may think that you want nothing in the way of a portrait of a loved one, but take my word for it.  Snow will make the memory of that moment stand out more later on.  The trick is to not get diagonal lines for falling snow in your pictures.  People usually ask if it was raining when they see something like that.  To make sure that you get the proper effect you can either speed up your shutter (SLR users) or just turn on your flash (Point & Shoot users). 

Let Kids Play

If your goal is to take lots of pictures of your kids you’re in luck… it easy.  In fact, kids make it easy for you by being naturally entertained by the snow.  They will laugh and make joyful faces which will translate completely when viewing the photos later on.  Just be cautious that there isn’t an errant snowball heading towards your shiny new camera.  That could bring your career as a photographer to an abrupt end.

Capture Motion

Kids will move fast in the snow.  Between the running, sledding and falling over you’re likely to get quite a few blurs.  A good way to counteract these blurs is to use a tried and true photography method: Move your camera with your subject.  In other words, when you have your kid in the viewfinder sledding down a hill, move your camera so that she stays in the same part of the frame.  This trick can make for very interesting photographs.  Of course there is always the option of speeding up your shutter (SLR Users).

Overexpose If You Can

All SLR cameras and some Point & Shoot cameras have the ability to overexpose images.  The tendency with any Camera’s automatic setting is to make snow look grey as the sensor attempts to even out tones.  By overexposing you can make sure that the snow stays white.

Your kids will remember the snow as clearly as you remember snow when you were a kid.  Having photo albums full of great snow pictures to supplement those memories is just icing on the cake (or snow on the lawn).

Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeremymates/

Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA

Dear Richard Heene,

I understand that you've been going through a very busy time lately, but please take the time to review this letter. I hope it will benefit both you and your children.

Putting your Family on TV was a Bad Idea

Everyone has money problems and yes, some of us are finding creative ways of dealing with it. We all concede that your idea was creative indeed. You pulled a fast one on the entire world! That was incredibly ambitious. That being said, there are a few thought processes that you skipped right over:

What Effect Is this going to have on Falcon?

There were a range of possibilities for the answer to this question, but they all would have led to the same outcome. If your deception on the public would have worked, Falcon would have been the main celebrity of a lie. He would have known it and he would have known that his entire family was lying too. This could only have resulted in his not trusting you and resenting you when he grew up. Since things have worked out like they have, he will probably see you go to jail and resent you anyway.

If Everything Works Out, How Would Reality TV Effect my Family?

Come on. Reality Television was your goal? Really? Did you want to lose the rest of your credibility? I assume there wasn't much left after two episodes of "Wife Swap". The title of that show alone has so many negative connotations it should have given anyone a clue (You should be ashamed of yourselves ABC!).

Lets brainstorm families who have been happy after reality television…

• Jon and Kate…. Nope.
• The Osbournes…. Maybe - its hard to tell with that bunch.
• Any family EVER on wife swap…. Nope - but they probably weren't happy before.
• The Kardashians…. Nope - but I'm sure they were screwed up to begin with.

Of course you would have been different. If you would have gotten on reality television, your family would have survived the turmoil and the fact that their Father would rather chase storms than teach his kids the difference between truth and deception. But I digress.

Lying about it was Worse

Lets explore what happens when your children see you lie. This would have been self-explanatory to most Dads, but maybe you need a refresher course. When your kids see you lie:

They Learn Its OK to Lie

What you just taught your kids is that its OK to try to lie when you want to get ahead in life. When they come up against an obstacle like financial problems, its ok to resort to the lowest possible denominator (Reality TV) and drag your entire family down with you. The fact that you're not admitting what you've done just keeps this lesson going.

They Learn that they Can't Trust You

Your children will always wonder about what you're telling them from this point forward. Especially if listening to what you're saying will cause you some sort of benefit. They will think to themselves "Dad always lies to get what he wants."

There are two lessons your kids should learn from this whole experience. First they should learn that lying has consequences. That when you lie, bad things happen to you. Secondly they should learn that their actions can have a significant impact on other people (Like your actions are having an impact on your children).

It Will Be VERY HARD to Earn Your Children's Trust Again

I'm going to go out on a very long limb here and assume that you will eventually want to redeem yourself to your children. I believe this can happen, but you will have to make some big changes in how you're handling this… and soon.

Tell The Truth

This should be a no brainer. Face what you've done and show your children that you can take responsibility for something. This will be an important step in building up some credibility with them and they can finally stop being torn about what to say in public. They can stop trying to lie.

Apologize To Your Family

I don't know how many people in your family were responsible in hatching this plan, but each one of you shares a part of the responsibility. You MUST apologize to them for your part in this stunt and that you didn't have the guts to put a stop to it. If you have even an inkling of self respect you will have done this already.

In closing, the ultimate outcome is all up to you. Stop trying to have a 1 year plan to riches and start having a 10 year plan for how you raise your children. Who knows, if you manage to turn this whole mess around and earn your children's trust in the next decade or two you might even make it on Oprah… but it will be for all the right reasons.

Sincerely,

Danny Grubb

GladDads.com

Photo © Belongs To: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oimax/

Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA

You won’t have time to read more than 7 books before you have your child.  You will have your hands full with getting ready for the special delivery and taking care of Mommy.  Of course, you don’t want to be completely clueless about the biggest change in your adult life.  When I first found out we were going to have twins I went on a panicked trip to Barnes & Noble where I was soon overwhelmed!  There are thousands of parenting books out there and deciding which ones to read can be a daunting task.  So to help you out, I have decided to describe the seven books I still use as reference guides seven months after my twins were born.  There are some that are for reference and some that should be read all the way through.  Click the book title for more information.

For Dads Who Know How To Read Schematics: The Baby Owner’s Manual

Glad Dads has reviewed this book before.  It is filled with common sense advice on how to take care of the little one in an efficient and practical way.  It has some funny labels attached to its diagrams and the key players in the baby’s life (i.e. the Baby’s Doctor is called the Service Provider).  This book can be used as a quick reference for everyday parenting problems such as “How do I treat Cradle Cap?”

For Dads Who Like A Calm House: The Happiest Baby on the Block

Though the hunt for a tranquil house may be futile, there are methods which can help you improve your odds.  This book can help you learn techniques for calming down a newborn and building healthy sleeping habits.  I do not consider this a reference book except for the odd diagram on swaddling or sleep cycles.  You should really read this one through to the end.  You will learn how to approximate the womb environment and the five S’s which help trigger the baby’s calming reflex.

For Dads Who Like To Be On Top Of Things: Juggling Twins

You may not be having twins, but I recommend reading this book through anyway.  You will learn how to battle baby logistics.  Some things in this book will be specific to twins, but other advice can be transferred to single child households as well.  How better to learn efficiency with baby than from someone who has two of the same age.  Take it from a Dad of twin girls… if it weren’t for some of the advice in this book we would be having a much harder time managing our household right now.

For Dads Who Like Bargains: Baby Bargains

This book is approaching 10 editions!  It has useful product reviews as well as tips on how to save money when baby shopping.  If you’re wondered “How am I going to afford a Baby?” this book should ease some of your fears.  When we were pregnant we took it shopping with us.  Whenever we were faced with a good deal on a stroller or a bouncer, we checked the book first to make sure that this product rated well.  Think of it as a portable internet (if you’re dependent on the web for just about everything like yours truly).  At the time we couldn’t get good reception on our smart phones in the baby store (Lead Paint from China maybe?).

For Dads Who Like To Be In The Know: Dr. Spock’s Baby And Child Care

“The” Book.  If you can’t find it in here, you don’t need to worry about it.  From newborns to adolescents, this book will lead you through your child’s life.  I recommend reading ahead in this one to be prepared for what lies ahead.  There is one thing this book is really good at… parental affirmation.  As you read along Dr. Spock, you will find that the language is patient, encouraging and really soothing.  If you ever get stressed out because you don’t know something, dig this book out, find what you need to know and let the book hold your hand as it gets you through the next few obstacles in parenthood.  I can not recommend this book enough.

For Dads Who Like To Play: The Parent’s Guide to Play

If you’re wondering how to entertain your little bundle of joy this book is for you.  There are 170 activities you can do with your child from birth to 2.5 years.  This is a great book when your child is crying and you’re desperately trying to come up with something to be entertaining. Grab the book, go to the appropriate chapter and pick something!  Read ahead in this book because there are some games which require toys you may not have.

For Dads Who Like To Know What’s Next: What To Expect The First Year

Every Chapter in this book is for a different age (1 months, 2 months, etc.).  Starting each chapter is a section that goes over what things your child should be able to do and what they may be able to do soon.  We find ourselves checking these sections every time one of the girls discover how to do something new.  Each chapter is also filled with articles covering everything from nutrition to reading to your baby.

Whether you read these books to reinforce things you already know or as a way to gain confidence for your new adventure doesn’t matter.  As Dads, every time we learn something that helps the family we have done our jobs.  Therefore it is our call to give ourselves every opportunity to learn something new.  These books will help, if you are looking for other sources of parenting information there are a lot of great blogs to read out there.  You can find a great selection of parenting blogs in our blogroll to the right.  If you’re interested in reading more Glad Dads, feel free to subscribe above.

Happy Reading!

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

This is not a cook book.  Chowder is a bulldog with a lot of quirks.  Peter Brown takes on the familiar children’s book theme of “It’s OK to be different”, but does it in a very fresh way which children of this generation will get immediately.  I must confess that I did not buy this book because I read it in the store, like I usually would.  Rather I knew I would like this book when I leafed through the first few pages and saw that the Copyright page was titled “For Grumps”.  I don’t think I read another word, instead I decided that this author “gets it” and made my purchase.

When I returned home to find my seven month old twins in a patient, receptive mood I immediately dug out Chowder and began to read them the story.  I quickly found myself captivated along with the kids.  Chowder is truly “different” as far as the other dogs in the neighborhood are concerned, and those differences make him lonely.  Chowder’s saving grace are his owners, the Wubbingtons who embrace Chowders differences as openly and lovingly as any family would the quirks of their children.  I don’t want to give too much away, suffice it to say that this whole adventure revolves around Chowder making new friends with a crowd of petting zoo animals.  Through determination and bravery, Chowder sure does make an impression.

I can not recommend this book highly enough.  The artwork in this book is truly divine and is sure to keep your children’s attention.  Anyone who has ever had a quirk and been loved because of it, or in spite of it will be able to relate.  Kids, especially in the age group this book targets, are all about discovering differences and commonalities.  When they read (or are read) this book, they will be rooting for Chowder the whole way (I suspect my 7 month olds just liked hearing me talk).  The characters in this book are instantly likable and I suspect that your entire family will fall in love with the Wubbingtons and their quirky bulldog Chowder.

Image © 2005 Peter Brown

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

Television viewing by Children has been a concern to Pediatricians, Teachers, and Parents for a long time.  The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is currently suggesting to its members that they counsel parents to limit total media time (entertainment media) to no more than 1 or 2 hours of quality programming per day.  Furthermore, the AAP suggests removing television sets from children’s bedrooms.  The potential benefits of limiting exposure to entertainment media  include improved diet, lower risk of obesity, less exposure to violence, and better sleep habits.  Research suggests that the number of hours spent on entertainment media each week is an important predictor of cognitive development, social behavior, and physical ability.

The promise of educational television for children is something that Parents (nearly universally) hope to see improvement on.  Although more research is currently needed on the topic, Parents are hoping to see effective educational programming for children under the age of 2.  For now parents may appreciate more guidance on the content that is available and on ways to managing Television to maximize its potential benefit on their children. 

MANAGING SCREEN TIME

Track Usage

Paying attention to how much screen time children are getting will give you a better idea on how much “limiting” needs to take place.  In one study, the amount of television the children reported watching greatly exceeded what the parents thought the kids were watching.  So if you’re kids are old enough to respond in complete sentences, asking them how much television they are watching might be a good first step.  Keeping a log of the screen time each family member gets can also be a good method of getting a complete picture.

Set a Good Example

Children (at least at the ages we are talking about here) watch what their parents do… incessantly.  A really good way of limiting screen time for your kids is to limit screen time for yourself because they are likely to reproduce that behavior for themselves.  An important time to limit Television for you and your children is during the school week.  One study showed a high correlation between television viewing during the school year and obesity.

Make the Child’s Bedroom a TV-Free Zone

Children with a television in their bedroom watch 50%+ more television than children without a television in their bedroom.  Another important factor in making this decision is that you don’t have to spend money on multiple television sets.  This decision is useful in another sense: When you make the only television in your house a family television, you are available more often to put the programming children see into context.

Eliminate Background Television

When watching television is not the primary activity, turn it off.  It will focus your children’s minds on the activity at hand.  It is also important to turn off the television during meal time.  It has been shown that viewing while eating results in the consumption of less nutritious foods.  Families who consistently eat together have been found to eat more nutritious foods.

Do Not Use Screen Time as a Reward

When screen time is used to discipline children or to reward them for good behavior it makes the activity seem more important.  If the child misbehaves consistently, television can even become the “forbidden fruit".  Children may obsess about their inability to watch television and when their TV rights get reinstated, they spend more time in front of the screen than before the punishment.

Use Activities as a Substitute to Screen Time

Identifying in-home activities that children like can be a good way to develop children’s independent play skills.  Parents will need to find a balance between parent-child activities and independent activities.  By turning off the television, it opens up a lot of time to learn hobbies, or spend time with family and friends.  If you are having trouble coming up with activities for your children you can consult the Television Turn-Off Network (www.tvturnoff.org) for lists of alternatives to screen time. 

Talk To Your Family

Explaining the importance of activity to children is an important first step in this process.  Increased activity results in more energy, more learned skills, and fun with family and friends.  It is also important to speak to your kids what what they watch on television when it is on.  For instance, teaching kids how to recognize a sales pitch is important; as is keeping certain programming in the proper context.

There are many things that we as parents can do to limit the negative effects of screen time on our children.  Following one or more of the suggestions above can provide an important first step to beginning a conversation in your household on what television and other entertainment media should provide.  Understandably, some parents who read this will be skeptical that there is anything wrong with their children watching a lot of television, playing video games or spending hours in front of the computer screen chatting with friends.  It is important to keep in mind though, that we are all trying to prepare our children for the “real world”.  There is no video game, television program, or website which can approximate the real world yet, so there are a lot of skills children learn from these activities which do not transfer into later life.  I urge skeptics to take a look at what proportion time their children are spending on interacting with reality.  I don’t advocate turning off the television completely, lest we make our children social outcasts at school where television is a frequent topic of conversation, just to question that the biggest marketing tool in human history is really the best thing for our children to be spending their most impressionable years with.

Sources for Article:

1. Article 1 - Reducing Children’s Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.  Amy B. Jordan, James C. Hersey, Judith A. McDivitt and Carrie D. Heitzler.
2. Article 2 – Association of Family Environment with Children’s Television Viewing and with Low Level of Physical Activity.  Jo Salmon, Anna Timperio, Amanda Telford, Alison Carver, and David Crawford.
3. Article 3 – News Release: New Study Shows How Kids’ Media Use Helps Parents Cope. Kaiser Family Foundation
4. Article 4 – News Briefs: Television and Videos for Children Under 2 May Not Influence Skill Development.
5. Article 5 – Children’s Television Viewing and Cognitive Outcomes: A Longitudinal Analysis of National Data. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH.
6. Article 6 – Associations between Media Viewing and Language Development in Children Under Age 2 Years. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH, and Andrew N. Meltzoff, PhD.
7. Article 7 – Television and DVD/Video Viewing in Children Younger Than 2 Years. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH, and Andrew N. Meltzoff, PhD.
8. Article 8 – Helpful Ways to Reduce Screen Time. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute.

Photo © belongs to khrawlings

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

If I asked you to list your three favorite shows from when you were a kid, you probably wouldn’t have to think too long.  What if I asked about the affect that viewing had on your activity level, development, or general wellbeing?  That question is a little harder to answer.  Most parents have probably watched their Kids in front of the television and wondered what was happening to them.  A lot of studies have been done to answer that question, and while some answers remain illusive, other findings are consistent across much of the research.

Family Behavior

Although children under the age of 2 do not watch as much television as other age groups, they are the most affected.  Children under 2 watch nearly 90 minutes of television a day even though there is no programming targeting this age group which has any educational value.  One study found that nearly half of children in this age range was watching television by 3 months with 90% watching by 24 months.  This is a problem because before the age of 3 the brain develops rapidly.  Environmental factors such as television are known to influence this development.  Throughout these studies, parents stated that they like to have their children watch TV because of the educational potential, because it relaxes the child, and because it gives the parents time to get things done around the house.

On an average day, more than 8 in 10 children under age 6 use screen media.  Shows like Sesame Street and Blues Clues are targeted at children from 3 to 5 years of age and have proven educational value when viewed appropriately by that age group.  Children from 2 to 6 years old watch an average of 2 hours of television or videos per day.  Even though educational shows are targeted at this age group, several studies found that much of the viewing done by this age group is non-educational.

During meal time the television is usually on in about one third of homes.  By age 6, 43% of children will have a TV in their bedroom.  The reasons parents gave as to why TVs are placed in children's bedrooms ranged from helping children fall asleep to rewarding good behavior.

Specific Affects on Children

Language

The language included in baby DVDs/Videos is limited.  Most merely include short scenes of children and flashy screen images which could lead to habits of the mind which impede language learning.   In this study, which measured language learning based on a 90 word list, the researchers found that in children aged 8 to 16 months for every hour of television viewed per day, 6 to 8 words were not learned.  In contrast, reading to the children once or more per day increased the number of words known.  The researchers went on to say that heavy television viewing before age 3 has been associated with attention problems and decreased reading and mathematical proficiency.

Eating

Watching television and eating is something that occurred in one study about a third of the time.  There are several problems with eating while watching television.  Children's viewing habits are reinforced when they are allowed to eat.  In this study, researchers also tested the effect that rules about eating meals in front of the TV had on children.  The children with rules had a decreased likelihood of watching TV for more than 2 hours per day.  In broader terms, not allowing TV viewing during mealtimes is a reflection of how the family values interaction.  In addition to strategies which limit eating in front of the television, an emphasis on physical activity is also extremely important in raising healthy children.

Next week, we will focus in detail on strategies to reduce TV viewing for our kids.  Stay Tuned.

Sources for Article:

1. Article 1 - Reducing Children’s Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.  Amy B. Jordan, James C. Hersey, Judith A. McDivitt and Carrie D. Heitzler.
2. Article 2 – Association of Family Environment with Children’s Television Viewing and with Low Level of Physical Activity.  Jo Salmon, Anna Timperio, Amanda Telford, Alison Carver, and David Crawford.
3. Article 3 – News Release: New Study Shows How Kids’ Media Use Helps Parents Cope. Kaiser Family Foundation
4. Article 4 – News Briefs: Television and Videos for Children Under 2 May Not Influence Skill Development.
5. Article 5 – Children’s Television Viewing and Cognitive Outcomes: A Longitudinal Analysis of National Data. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH.
6. Article 6 – Associations between Media Viewing and Language Development in Children Under Age 2 Years. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH, and Andrew N. Meltzoff, PhD.
7. Article 7 – Television and DVD/Video Viewing in Children Younger Than 2 Years. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH, and Andrew N. Meltzoff, PhD.
8. Article 8 – Helpful Ways to Reduce Screen Time. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute.

Photo © belongs to dailyinvention

Submitted by Keith Wilcox, Boulder, CO. 

I just finished reading Old Man and the Sea.  I didn't read it for me; I've already read it several times to myself.  I spent 30 minutes every day reading it to my boys over the course of this past week.  In case you're wondering, they are 6 and 5 years old, and they can't read it by themselves.  I recently made a promise to myself to read a portion of an adult book to them every day.  I thought that it would be a good idea to get them involved in the classics, to give them an appreciation for books other than picture books.  Their only responsibility would be to sit there and listen.  What I've found is that the reading stimulates much more that mere interest in classics.  It actually gives them new vocabulary and an entirely different perspective on life (at least temporarily).  There are certain books that have the power to teach and to transform us.  One of those is Old Man and the Sea.  It is particularly suited for boys, and it's guaranteed to keep their attention.

Read Well

It might be surprising, when you sit down to read out loud, that it's not as easy to pull-off as we imagine.  Sure, we did it when we were kids and we had to read for the class.  We've also given speeches to coworkers.  Perhaps we've read from note cards to a large auditorium.  It's not the same as reading classic literature out loud.  It takes practice.  It's easy to lose the rhythm and end up having the book lose some of it's luster.  It's good to be patient and let it come.  Once you get into it it'll feel natural and easy – and your kids will appreciate the extra emphasis you add along the way, the spice so to speak.

Explain

The Old Man and the Sea requires a bit of explanation along the way.  My kids have never been fishing in the ocean so didn't know any of the terms.  Gaff, Harpoon, Gunwale, Stern, Bow, Jib... . The list goes on.  We stopped periodically so that I could explain some of the terms to them.  My youngest son asked me if he could sit in the stern of the car yesterday.  He meant the trunk.  I thought that was funny.  There are other, more complicated, concepts for them to understand too.  For instance, why was the old man so determined to get the fish?  What relationship did he have with the fish?  Why was it so painful for him to see the sharks come?  These classic books provide the perfect avenue to teach kids about life, especially by way of anything Hemingway wrote. 

Have Fun

Reading is all kinds of fun when done with feeling.  Imagine reading about the fight the old man had with the sharks.  As a parent, you can put all sorts of feeling and excitement into that.  The kids get sucked right into it.  You'll stop reading for the day and the kids will say “Oh, Dad, read a little more!”  That especially holds true for a novella like The Old Man and the Sea because there are no chapters; it is not convenient to find a place to stop.  You'll find yourself saying, “Just one more page.”  And you'll just keep going.  When you do finally finish for the day, ask the kids to pretend they were the old man.  Ask them what they would do in his position.  Would they cut the line and let the fish go?  Would they determine to either kill the fish or get killed trying?  Kids love what ifs.   

Choose Good Books

Don't go pick any random book off the shelf.  It's gotta be something that you think your kid would like.  I made a list of books that I liked as a kid.  It's right here http://www.almightydad.com/toys/books-to-read-to-boys/ for anybody looking for a few suggestions.  I made the list with boys in mind because I have boys and no experience with girls.  Sorry to every with girls!  The choice of books really makes all the difference.  As I Lay Here Dying is probably not the best pick even though it is a classic.  Kids love action and adventure. 

Reading to my kids has been one of the best experiences of their childhood for me.  It has given me quality time with my kids and served as an excellent platform for their learning.  They don't even know they're learning!  It relaxes them before bedtime with the dual purpose of calming me down after a stressful day.  It's always nice to be transported to a different world after a day cleaning the house and running errands.  Read to the kids.  Neither of you will regret it. 

Glad Dads Q&A is a regular feature which profiles all kinds of Dads. The questions are designed to get at a Dads philosophy on fatherhood and how that philosophy is inspired.  Do you know a Dad worthy of a Glad Dads profile?  Please email Glad Dads and let us know.

Chris (AKA: Dad of Divas) is the author of the Dad of Divas Blog. Take part in his 30-day project to help Dads become better Dads.

Submitted by Nate Smith, Portland, OR

GTD is a popular buzz  term these days and it simply stands for "Getting Things Done." It is the brainchild of David Allen (http://www.davidco.com). All you new Dads out there already know this, and all you soon to be Dads are about to learn this; Getting Things Done with a newborn in the house is a challenge. But it's not impossible.

GTD is all about getting past all the obstacles in your day in order to complete all the tasks on your to-do list. Now it might sound insensitive to call your baby an obstacle (definitely do not let mommy hear you say that), but let's face it, that little bundle of joy sure does take up a lot of your time. Of course, it's a lot more legitimate to say you failed to get your chores done because you were taking care of your baby than it is if you were playing Grand Theft Auto. And if you were playing Grand Theft Auto with your baby, well that's just another thing we shouldn't tell mommy about.

Every good GTDer has some sort of to-do list and a system for managing it. Some people simply use a scrap of paper with a list of items, other people use a calendar system, and there are loads of iPhone apps that will keep your list neatly organized and synchronized. I for one love the OmniFocus app made by Omni Group. But however you keep track of your tasks, the fact remains that those to-do items aren't going to check themselves off.

As our day goes by we already have plenty of obstacles that can keep us from attaining our goals. Some are exterior, while others are interior. An exterior obstacle can be traffic on the drive home. You can't get much done while sitting in traffic. Although I do like to use drive time to make any phone calls that were on my to-do list. An interior obstacle can be as simple as procrastination or day dreaming (unless your like me and you put "day dream for 10 minutes" on your to-do list. Check!). All of these obstacles are manageable and we've been dealing with them for some time so we have figured out how to keep ourselves moving forward. We've got a good flow going.

A baby, on the other hand, is a totally different kind of obstacle. To be blunt your flow is about to be busted. Babies require almost constant attention. Of course you do have a teammate to help you take care of the baby, but a good father knows that paying attention to his wife's needs are as important as paying attention to his baby. So it can be tricky to get more than 5 minutes at a time to work on your important projects. If you're like me this can be really distracting and I end up not doing anything at all. It's a lot easier to peruse the internet than it is to be constantly interrupted while working on a...(hold on, gotta go change a diaper)...project that requires a lot of thought. But this is a new muscle you're just going to have to exercise. Get used to picking up where you left off and putting your trains of thought on hold.

You'll also notice that your to-do list is going to get a lot more crowded. If your list is anything like mine it is full of things you WANT to get done and things you HAVE to get done. The want-tos are usually set by you, while the have-tos are appointed to you by others like your boss or your wife (your other boss). I've noticed in my first week already that my once a week laundry chore has become almost a daily chore. I'm taking out the trash a lot more too. Another way a good GTDer breaks down his to-do list is by priority level. Of course your personal projects will be a lot more important to you than all those menial housekeeping tasks, but the thing is the dishes just HAVE to get done at some point.

I think it is very important to assign self imposed deadlines to any to-do items that don't already have a deadline attached to them. If I put "write blog post about explosive diapers" on my list but don't give it a deadline, it tends to sit there for days while other "more pressing" items are tended to. But if I write down that this article needs to be posted by a certain day and time, I'm much more likely to start working on it. Of course, in that scenario it is still up to you to hold yourself to your own standards.

It's also crucial to let your wife know what your priorities are. Usually when my wife asks me what's on my to-do list I'll say something vague like, "Just a bunch of stuff." Or even worse I'll say, "Not much." She will then start piling up chores for me to do. Inevitably I will have to do these chores. But if I start by telling her what I want to get done today, she will be much more understanding of my needs.

My final secret to Getting Things Done is, don't spend too much time reading about how to get things done. Just go do them! So with that I'll leave you with a final bullet point summary.

• Make a list and check it twice.
• Learn to start and stop on a dime.
• Prioritize.
• Set deadlines.
• Communicate your priorities.
• Just Do It!

Photo Credit: Bev Hawley babyloveletters.com

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

As of last Friday Reading Rainbow was cancelled.  I grew up watching this program while living in Germany (we received a handful of British stations).  The kids on the program were so excited about reading and introduced me to new subject matter that I would never have been exposed to in my daily life.  Never mind LeVar Burton’s captivating performances and readings!

Reading Rainbow taught me that it was ok to like reading and be excited about books.  A Geek was in the making and this show was helping me along the way.  I credit this show with making me the avid reader I am today.

A spokesman for PBS said that the reason the show was cancelled was first because of funding.  Apparently they have not produced a new episode in three years and secondly (and they are stating this reason rather loudly) that research has shown that summer reading among school age children has been diminishing over the last few years (maybe around 3 years?).  They are not showing the smallest bit of concern for a show that has become legendary in children’s television.

PBS is clearly to blame for the show’s financial problems.  Did they try to get the funding for Reading Rainbow?  I never heard anything about it.  If I would have heard that I may have actually picked up the phone during a telethon for the first time in my life and donated.

I wish someone at PBS could explain why a show which nurtures the love of reading in children, is such a bad thing.  Apparently they will try to replace Reading Rainbow with programming that teaches kids how to read phonetically.  Great, but how will they learn what to read?  Reading Rainbow gave everyone regardless of race or social status equal footing.  The exposure to the rest of the world was interesting!  Parents don’t have the time to research which books will widen their children's world view.  Maybe PBS thinks that they should just read toy catalogs and cereal boxes.

Sesame street has always taught phonetic reading to kids.  Reading Rainbow completed the formula by providing kids good, solid choices about what to read.  PBS has taken the second step away from our children.

As for me, I will do everything I can to nurture my children's love for reading without PBS’s help.  I was hoping for some generational continuity, “I used to watch this when I was a kid.”  Thank you PBS for making that impossible.

I never thought I would have to write a post like this about PBS.  It seems that television, no matter how apparently well-intentioned, is filled with people who put the intellectual growth of their younger viewers second.  I think I’ll stick to books for learning, I just hope that my kids receive the same message.

You can’t have a moment of silence on the internet. However, if you’ve just finished reading this post, I ask that in honor of the fall of Reading Rainbow, you observe a moment of stoppage (no surfing).

Photo retrieved from http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

Binkies don’t always work.  So what else could a Dad do to keep the little ones interested and relaxed? Though we might not share it over beers at a ball game, we all do it.  Men used to do it in the shower or in the car, while Dads do it just about anywhere. Dads love to entertain their kids. Why? Because they are entertained by us. Singing is just one way to do it.

Babies and kids are an audience that is constantly interested in what we are doing.  Usually this manifests in more of a reality show fashion. For example, if all I do is walk to the kitchen I know that there are at least two pairs of eyes watching (my wife has seen it and is unimpressed.)

When I’m watching the twins by myself they sometimes get bored. When this happens I know that I have to step its up a notch (they don’t know how bad my dancing is – I like to think they are laughing with me).

From when my girls were about 2 months old I’ve been singing to them fairly consistently to help calm them when they’re upset. By pure coincidence I was singing one song more than the others (because I can remember the words to this one without sleep!) and eventually the babies got conditioned to it.  Now (four months later) they can be in a full I-will-wail-until-I-get-what-I-want-or-your-ears-bleed fit, but when I begin to sing “You are my Sunshine” they stop and smile every time.  Mix that in with a few well placed funny faces, maybe a couple of peek-a-boos and voila! I’ve just bought myself a couple of minutes to go pee.

You don’t have to be on American Idol to get your babies to enjoy your singing. Just pick a few songs and maybe one go-to song. If you are consistent in your approach you can get your kids conditioned too. You might not sing like Michael Buble (I know I don’t), but to your babies your voice is gold.

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

Kids get hurt.  The thing is, before they’re a couple of years old, it is mostly the parents’ fault.  What may seem like a safe position to leave a child in, can turn into a precarious one with a couple of rolls or a forward lean. 

I remember when my twins were one month old, one night I was picking up a screaming baby (at about 4am) and in my tired state didn’t realize how far forward I was leaning.  The baby’s head caught the lip of the crib headboard making an audible “thunk”.  It was just a graze, but resulted in the baby wailing for a while and me feeling as though I’d just hit a koala bear with my car while the bear’s entire extended family watched… all he was trying to do was cross the highway, poor fella.  Guilt ridden and teary eyed the girl and I told her mother what happened.  She was worried, but not too upset.  These things happen after all.  Besides, kids are tough!  Sure enough, within about 10 minutes, all was forgotten and the baby was happily drinking her formula.

But the guilt, it nags at you.  This is of course useful so these episodes do not repeat themselves.  Some Dads are even brave enough to write about them.  This Dad calls his little mental lapses “brain explosions.”  So if you’ve ever hit your child’s head against a headboard or dropped them on the floor because they decided to do gymnastics in your arms after their baby oil massage, let us know how things went afterwards.

All Dads want when these things happen is to know that everything is going to be ok.  Though I can’t speak for every situation, the rumors you’ve heard about how tough kids are – at least in my experience – are true.

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

Pat yourselves on the back parents! The CDC says that child safety and health have improved considerably in the last 30 years. This article from USA Today among other things, contends that cases of SIDS are down, vaccinations are up, birth defects are down, and home safety is up. It seems that advances in medicine and child safety have made their mark.

Why is it then that parents worry so much more these days than they did 30 years ago? Nutrition, bullying, entertainment violence, STDs, abductions, school shootings, and more pressure to do well in school all add to the stress. If you add a recession, growing unemployment, and the current state of this country’s education system, you may end up being a “Pressure-Cooked Family” according to this article by WebMD. So even though in the world of CDC-measured statistics we are all getting healthier, family units across this country are actually becoming so stressed out that it is leading to health problems in both parents and children.

Stressed out parents have been linked back to stressed kids (Source). Kids learn from what they see from their parents. Their stress management reflects their parents’ stress management. If you manage your stress badly, your child is more likely to develop behavior problems as a result of watching you not effectively dealing with your responsibilities.

So what can you do as a Dad to reduce stress in your household? There are lots of books and articles on the subject. Below are some that made sense to me.

1. Manage Your Time Better. I recommend reading David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” as a starter. Usually I am pretty adverse to listening to “Gurus” but there are many things that made a lot of sense to me and even if you just use 1 or 2 of his tricks you will be much less stressed out than before.

2. Get your Kids involved in Family Finances. Here is a great article about teaching kids budgeting. My favorite part is the “How Expensive am I?” exercise. Once kids understand where money comes from and where it goes on a regular basis, they may still utter the “I want that!” phrase, but they will also understand better when you have to say no.

3. Have some Fun (Your kids can show you how). I like this ehow article for its simplicity. Its simply 8 ways to play with your kids.

If you know of any good resources on how to reduce family stress (Books, blog posts, websites, etc.) please post them in the comments.

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

Lets try “Pressure to Publish Leads to Sensationalist Science.” I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the headline on MSNBC today. The story claims that just by naming a baby boy Ernest (Picture of Hemingway Above) or Malcolm (or one of the other 8 names in the article), you are setting them up for a life of resentment or worse. This claim is based on a study published in Social Science Quarterly by David Kalist and Daniel Lee.

It is not difficult to fathom, why such a study would exist in the first place. With studies coming out everyday about what makes kids smarter, fatter, louder, and homicidal it is definitely not a stretch for a study to try and prove predispositions to antisocial behavior. I wonder though whether calling these statistics out isn’t just predisposing us to treat kids with these names (or other characteristics) differently. Did they not consider all of the boys with the “Top 10 Bad Boy Names” who are already trying to make it through school and be good sons? What about parents who read this article and feel guilty about naming their kids these names? Well to them I say this:

You are the reason that your kids will succeed or fail. It is your attention, questions, and actions which will determine their fate. No matter what a couple of PHDs or some scientific journal with sensationalist tendencies thinks.

Let us not forget the mantra of the academic community: “Publish or Perish.” Kalist and Lee will gladly continue to publish obscure social statistics no matter what the consequences as long as it gets them an inch closer to tenure.

Submitted by Danny G., Seattle, WA

Your babies are due, your wife is telling you that she wants nice baby pictures and every baby photographer is (a) overpriced and (b) booked. What's a Daddy to do?

Well if you are a daddy with an obsession for consumer electronics and a high school photography class under your belt (class not required, just pick up a good beginner/intermediate SLR photography book), you can take your own pictures. You will have to be willing to make an investment roughly the size of a couple of professional photo shoots (what you get is unlimited shoots instead of a couple).

What you need:

SLR camera

Here's the important thing: you can get last years camera, just make sure it is compatible with this years lenses. You can pick up a decent Nikon or canon SLR online for a few hundred bucks. Get the body only and buy your lens(es) separately, the kit lenses are NOT up to the task. (Note: I shoot a Canon XSI)

Nifty Fifty

If you've had a photography class or have looked through your brand new photography book, you've heard the term "depth of field" (Dof). Low depth of field yields more interesting backgrounds. This is why you did not buy the kit lens! The nifty fifty is a lens which does not zoom, it is a fixed focal length (50mm). The benefits are an extremely low Dof (f/1.8) and an extremely low price (around $100). This lens is a great way to get started. Here is an example of a Nifty Fifty:

http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/12142-USA/Canon_2514A002_Normal_EF_50mm_f_1_8.html.

Flash

The pop up on flash is crap! Get a good "B" brand flash which has a high guide number and is compatible with your camera's ttl metering system. Vivitar makes a good flash for around $100. When indoors you can point the flash at the ceiling and get a MUCH better effect than if you were to use the pop up flash. Here is the flash I use:

http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/542936-REG/Vivitar_DF400MZC_DF400MZ_Digital_TTL_Shoe.html.

Memory Card

Get as large as you can afford, but get a good brand. The Extreme III is a great card. An example of the card:

http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/580125-REG/SanDisk_SDSDX3_016G_A31_16GB_Extreme_III_.html.

Camera Bag

Get a bag that's large enough for all of your stuff plus a couple of extra lenses.

Photo Editing Software

Get gimp. There is no reason to spend the cash for Photoshop when gimp is available for free at http://www.gimp.org/. Most of the time you will want to just crop and adjust contrast/brightness. When the situation calls for it though, you can adjust color curves, sharpen the photo, add filters, and apply really cool effects.

Optional:

Radio Triggers

Yeah, now were getting a little more advanced. Radio triggers allow you to move your flash from the hot shoe on your camera to a location across the room wirelessly. So you can have the light coming from the sides, above, or behind. The sky is the limit. They range from $30 on eBay if you’re feeling adventurous (they work for me) or you can spend a few hundred dollars on a really snazzy set. For some really good information about off-camera flash photography visit http://strobist.blogspot.com.

Umbrella

A photography umbrella kit won't set you back that much and you can create some really cool effects. With an umbrella and radio triggers you can really get creative with the light in your photos.

Wide Zoom Lens

If you feel like you need more flexibility with your focal length, I suggest going wide angle. When photographing babies it is difficult to justify anything bigger than 70mm. The only advice I offer when buying any lens is to get the lowest f-stop (Dof) you can afford. I have been known to save for months to buy an f/2.8 lens when I could have bought an f/3.5 lens in a week.

How to make it interesting:

Get Close

Instead of just taking pictures from the same distance away all the time, try taking a picture of just your baby's foot, hand, or nose. There is a whole new world of photography within 20 inches of your subject.

Sit Down

Get on your child's level. By sitting or lying down you can see the world like she sees it and it will add a lot more drama to your shots.

Get Help and Feedback

Few websites claiming to be "photo communities" actually are. The one that I found did fit that bill though was Flickr. On top of great photos and discussions, there are actually great photographers there. You can contact them, ask for advice and submit your work to different Flickr groups for feedback. For an example you can take a look at my account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/32774226@N08/

I do not get paid for mentioning products. I have personally used every product mentioned in this post.