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Aliens Seen Studying Child Behavior

Submitted by Danny Grubb, Seattle, WA

As we were leaving the restaurant last night we walked past a statue of a cow and a calf (pretty near life sized). The first of my 21 month old twins to see it didn't care for it and went around the statue to hold on to her mama. The second one went right up to the cows face and started mooing at the top of her lungs!

While I was enjoying my daughter playing with the cows and continuing to moo, I noticed people staring at us. A couple of people staring had looks on their faces which seemed to suggest they thought it was cute. There were others however who were looking at my daughter like there was something wrong with her... for mooing at a statue of a cow... did I mention she's 21 months old?

This behavior was going to draw attention, she's loud and she's mooing... I can't fault people for taking notice. I focused on one couple inparticular who - the longer they watched - the more their expressions seemed to say that they felt sorry for my daughter. "For what?" I wondered.

The only possibility I could think of was that these were aliens who were seeing their first human toddler interacting with the world. I can only guess at what their report might say:

"The small human was yelling at the metallic structure in such a way as to suggest an attempt at communication. Since Earth has no intelligent metals as exist on Omichron-Percei 37 the only logical assumption is that the human in question is defective in some way."

Well I was not going to stand around and let some alien idiots think of my child as defective. There was only one thing I could do. I picked up my daughter and joined her in her attempts at bovine communication. I then promptly removed her from the aliens' gaze. With any luck I surprised the aliens into talking about me in their report instead.

On our way to the car we walked and mooed past some more aliens who seemed to quicken their pace to get away from us... presumably to prevent being infected by whatever was afflicting these crazy, mooing humans.

I feel like being a lightning rod for unwanted human attention and ignorant alien research is the least I can do for my children.

Please report any additional attempts at alien observation of child behavior in the comments below.

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